Success Connections

Be Graceful Under Fire

Do you remember how you felt when you saw the vivid images of Saddam Hussein’s statue destroyed and demolished?  For me, it was one of those indelible images etched in my memory forever along with the Kennedy assassinations and the destruction of the Berlin Wall.

Over the past few weeks, I watched another leader’s reputation dismantled and destroyed.  But, unlike Hussein, this leader isn’t evil.  She is a kind, good-hearted person, who became the target of a power hungry employee who chose to resolve her differences by rallying troops and declaring war.

I didn’t personally witness the bloody tactics used in this battle, but I can personally attest to the leader’s “state of being” as her long time career crumbled before her own eyes.  It’s what I’ve come to call, lessons from “Grace under fire”. 

4 Lessons In Resilience - From Grace Under Fire

Accept Responsibility – Resist the urge to place blame, even when you can.  When you accept full responsibility for problems, you learn the necessary lessons and allow solutions to emerge from within you.

Be Mindful – Pay close attention. Listen and speak consciously.  Be present in every moment.  Give your ego a time out.

Accept Uncertainty – Uncertainty has a way of making us feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.  When we acknowledge and accept that things will be uncertain for a while, it’s much easier to manage the sea of emotions that we’re feeling.

Embrace The Serenity Prayer – You remember this one…”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Molly Gordon shares some great food for thought in an article she wrote a while ago.  In part, she writes…

The Art, Science, and Grace of Thriving

“Thriving is part art, part science, and part grace.  A thriving business must not only accommodate but support life in all its complexity.  A thriving business requires and provides resilience and continuity.

How do you go about building a thriving career or business?  Here are some of the things I've learned and that I credit with supporting my own thriving business. 

1.    Recognize that life happens.  There will be ups and downs in your personal life and ups and downs in business. When you can accept these ebbs and flows of attention, energy, and focus, you will better be able to adjust to changing conditions both in your heart and in your environment.

2.    Cultivate systems, practices, and networks that provide continuity.  For example, this newsletter and my Web site are ongoing and reliable means of staying in touch with a meaningful network in good times and in bad.

3.    Pay attention to transitions.  When change is happening, it can be easy to get caught up in reactionary thoughts and feelings that can muddy your thinking and make complex situations chaotic.  Learning to detach and observe your reactions, thoughts, and fears will help you keep a steadier course without being rigid.

4.    Learn to notice when things are expanding and when they are contracting, and choose your strategies accordingly.

5.    Learn to regard mistakes as stepping stones to mastery.  Avoid wasting time in needless guilt and defensiveness.  Seize the opportunity to correct your error and move on.”

In a way, the ups and downs of a career are much like the bounce of a rubber ball.  Once it reaches maximum height, it will start a downward journey until it reaches the bottom of the bounce.  But because a rubber ball is so resilient, it automatically bounces back.  You too, can choose to bounce through change like a rubber ball.

So the next time you find yourself in the heat of a stressful change, think Grace, Resilience, and Bounce Back.

How about you?  How do you survive and thrive life’s curve balls?

Thou Shalt Not Whine

As I was waiting in the hair salon this morning the newest issue of People Magazine arrived.  I typically read a magazine by scanning from back to front.  One or two pages from the back of the magazine I discovered a real treasure.

The title of the article is ”Thou Shalt Not Whine”.  What I found there was much more than an article.  It is the beginning of a movement to make the world a better place.

Rev. Will Bowen started the movement in his own church.  He challenged the members of Christ Church Unity to stop criticizing, complaining and gossiping for 3 weeks.  Eventually he mass-produced purple wristbands stamped A Complaint Free World.

The challenge goes like this:

• You put the wristband on as a reminder that you commit to go at least 21 days without criticizing, complaining, griping, sniping or gossiping. 
• If you catch yourself breaking your commitment, you move the wristband to the other arm and you start the 21-day challenge over.

As word spread throughout the world the challenge to become A Complaint Free World expanded beyond Rev. Bowen’s imagination.  Christ Church Unity now offers the wristbands free of charge to the entire world.  Of course donations are welcome, but not required.

I’ve always respected the Dale Carnegie’s principle of “Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain", but Rev. Bowen expanded the principle and has taken it to a whole new level.

Go to the website, A Complaint Free World, and read what people are saying!

I’ve got mine ordered.  Will you get yours? 

What would it be like to live in a complaint free world?

The End Of Suffering By Tim Sanders

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share an excellent post by Tim Sanders from his blog.  He references one of my favorite principles of all time, " become part of the solution instead of part of the problem". 

I believe that if we're not part of the solution (to any problem), we ARE part of the problem.  Suffering IS optional!

Noodle it.  Read Tim's article below.  Tell me what YOU think!

One year ago, I gave a talk at ADP's annual sales rally in Las Vegas. The talk was for about 600 sales professionals. There are a great bunch of people. They want to make a difference in the world, just like you and I do. I decided to adapt the following essay into the talk. Now, many of them think about themselves as "pain killers" that reduce the anxiety, waste and other forms of suffering that take place inside business operations. This thinking can apply to your business too -- and help create a common mission worth getting up for every morning.

THE END OF SUFFERING

I believe that our mission in life is simple: Participate in the end of suffering. If we reduce suffering in the world, we enable the positive. We make a difference. You cannot make people happy and you cannot make them like you. You can, however, be a part of the solution instead of being part of the problem. Suffering is everywhere waiting to be addressed. It comes in physical and mental forms from hunger to uncertainty.

Happiness is like a ray of light that sits just beyond the dark clouds of suffering. When those clouds part our joy shines through. We only get glimpses of this light because there is so much suffering in our lives.

Think about it, your greatest energy comes from your innate desire to end suffering. If you are bored, you find great energy to deal with that. If someone you care about needs something, you find it in yourself to give her your very best. This mission I suggest, the end of suffering, comes from your true nature as a compassionate being.

It is truly possible to unify our intentions and to align with others based on the mission we select in life. Currently, we have so many varied (and often selfish) missions that it is no wonder we think we are not like "them" and find ourselves largely divided.

When you choose the right mission, it gives you advice at every turn of your life. At work, your mission should tell you the difference between right and wrong and where to spend your time (and energy). Trying to achieve a vague professional mission is like trying to operate a business without a plan. It is difficult for you to separate your mission between personal and professional. How you are successful during the day is who you become in the evening. Conversely, your personal mission should guide your behavior towards your family, friends and acquaintances. If you find one mission that successfully guides you throughout your whole life, you have a blueprint for success. If your mission is aligned with others, you have a blueprint for community and cooperation.

It is my informed opinion that the most effective leaders in the world focus efforts towards the end of suffering. They are first are foremost happy and proactive in defending that happiness. They are sensitive to others' feelings and possess a connected form of emotional intelligence.

Think about this over the next few days. Ask yourself, "Do I have a unifying mission that guides me?" Then question, "Can I offer something towards the end of suffering or do I mostly create suffering?" You may decide to join me in my mission.

If you accept this mission, you must first address suffering in your own life. You need to make room for the needs of other people by dealing with your own. This is the road to self-reliance and peace. If you accept this mission, you will find yourself opting out of behaviors that could make others suffer, because you would "know better" as a result of your new focus on the end of suffering. If nothing else, just do an inventory in one week of how much suffering you created versus how much you addressed. The better you do, the more you are living on purpose.

Your friend, Tim Sanders

Please pass this on to your friends and colleagues as it can change their life.

Boss Bashing Is Hazardous To Your Career

Last week Marshall Goldsmith and Patricia Wheeler held a teleconference on “Effectively Influencing Up”.  As with all of Marshall’s work, the class was loaded with timeless principles, but there was one little statistic at the beginning of the call that kept nagging at me the entire hour.

A study by DDI (Development Dimensions International) shows that a majority of employees spend 10 or more hours per month complaining or listening to others complain about bad bosses – and almost one third spend 20 hours or more per month.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  In fact, Marshall said he needed to validate those numbers for himself so he did a quick mailing to his list of clients.  The feedback he received showed the same thing!

Let’s see what happens when we put some numbers to this finding.

• Assume for a moment an average employee makes $20 per hour.
• Now add 25% to that to account for insurance and other benefits.  That’s $25 per hour.
• Multiply $25 by 15 hours and you get $375 per month per person.
• Let’s say there are 5 people doing the bashing.  That’s $2500 per month boss bashers are costing the company.

It doesn’t take long to figure out why companies can’t afford to put up with this kind of behavior.

In Marshall’s article titled “Bashing The Boss”, he gives you a list of 7 reasons to stop.  Briefly, they are:

• You waste time
• You demean yourself
• You hurt your company
• You come across as a hypocrite
• You communicate a lack of courage
• You depress yourself and others
• You don’t enhance your career

Go read the full article published in the December issue of Workforce Performance Solutions.

If you’re in the habit of bashing your boss, do whatever it takes to change the habit now.  Get someone to support you.  You’ll never regret it.

How does it make you feel when you hear someone bashing his or her boss?

What's Holding You Back?

The Make It Great Guy, Phil Gerbyshak posted a piece called "What's Holding You Back?".

Good stuff!  I think of it as being stuck.  Here in Michigan the winter can dump a foot of snow all at once.  You drive down the road, hit a patch of ice and before you know it, you spin off into the ditch.  Sometimes you can get enough momentum to drive out of it.  Other times it's hopeless.  The snow is jam packed around the tires.  Spinning your wheels only gets you stucker than you were when you started.

You have choices.  You can sit there and keep spinning your wheels or you can call for help.  If you've got a friend with a big truck and a tow rope that may be all you need.  Other times your only hope is calling the wrecker.  The wrecker driver is an expert.  He looks at the situation from all angles.  Decides the best way to help you out, and before you know it, your back on the road.

What do you do when you're stuck?  I don't mean in your car.  I mean when you're not reaching your goals, living your best life, or growing in your career.  Do you sit there and spin your wheels?  Or do you acknowledge it and call for help?

If you find yourself spinning your wheels, just change it!  Take your foot off the accelerator, pick up the phone and make that call.  Help is only a phone call away.

Validate Your Assumptions

I've received some good feedback from the March issue of Relating@Work.  I don't normally make a habit of posting info from the newsletter here (so people don't get duplicate information), but this time I thought there may be value.  You can register for your own copy of Relating@Work here.  It's a free quick read, focused on one monthly strategy, and includes 3 - 4 support links for additional reference.  You can expect it just once (the first week) every month.  This month's topic...Validate Your Assumptions

Amy is a concierge for a prominent hotel in town.  She has a reputation for "pulling rabbits out of hats"…for making the impossible…possible. 

Last week one of the hotel's preferred guests put her skills to the test.  He wanted 10 tickets to a sold out concert at the local arena.  She assured him she would do everything possible.  In her own mind she thought, "I've pulled this off before, it's no problem." 

After a few calls she found that one of the corporate suites was open.  Within the next 2 hours she had the deal nailed down.  The only thing left to do was communicate to the guest.

Now that turned out to be the real challenge.  After several attempts to reach the guest she was starting to get stressed.  Her daughter's dance recital started in an hour, and she vowed not to miss it.

She decided to turn the job over to the hotel desk manager.  After all, she knew him well, and he always came through for her in a pinch.

This situation turned into a nightmare.  The front desk manager couldn't reach the guest either.  He finally assumed the guest would stop by and ask about the tickets.  In the meantime, the guest assumed that Amy couldn't get the tickets; after all he hadn't heard from her.  Although he wasn't happy about it, he made other plans.

The next morning Amy realized what happened.  She was infuriated.  After all, her reputation that was on the line.  After she chewed up and spit out the front desk manager, she immediately jumped into her "damage control" mode.

Can you pick out the assumptions that contributed to the issue here?

§           Amy assumed that the front desk manager would follow through for her.

§           The desk manager assumed that the guest would check on the tickets.

§           The guest assumed that Amy couldn't get the tickets.

In this case, 3 people made assumptions but didn't bother to validate them.  What could the assumptions cost the hotel?

§           The preferred guest didn't get what he wanted, and he's likely take his business elsewhere.

§           Amy is so angry with the desk manager that she's not speaking to him.  There is tension between them and they're not communicating.  Tension and lack of communication can cost the company plenty in terms of wasted time, lower productivity and possibly even poor service.

People avoid using the word "assume" because they know too well that it can lead to trouble. Often an assumption is hiding beneath by a statement like, "I thought you were…"

It's human nature to assume.  Most of us make several assumptions every single day.  Great people in companies make assumptions.  Smart people validate their assumptions. 

Are you ready to take the challenge?

Take Action Challenge:

My challenge to you over the next week:

1.       Start listening to yourself very closely

2.       Notice how often you need to explain something that didn't go as expected

3.       Catch yourself every time you start thinking or saying, "I assumed…" or "I thought…"

4.       Start asking yourself, "What am I assuming here?"

5.       Practice validating your assumptions before things go wrong

6.       Notice what's different for you

7.       Share your experience with me

What Good People Do To Bad Bosses

Life is way too short to put up with bad bosses.  Take a look at how one group of employees in Vancouver took matters into their own hands.  Right here!

Caution!  If you're sensitive to colorful language, don't read the comments section.

Let me ask you this...How do you handle bad bosses?

Google: Ten Golden Rules

Many of us have been standing back and watching Google take the world by surprise.  I for one have been intrigued on how they do what they do!

In case you haven't seen it, Newsweek did a little digging and got Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google to share his secrets.  In essence...what Google does to get the most out of knowledge workers.

Here's the short list of Google's Ten Golden Rules:

• Hire by committee
• Cater to their every need
• Pack them in
• Make coordination easy
• Eat your own dog food
• Encourage creativity
• Strive to reach consensus
• Don't be evil
• Data drive decisions
• Communicate effectively

Take a minute to read the full article!  It's a great read! You can find it right here:

Google:  Ten Golden Rules