June Success Resources

Hello Everyone,

I just thought I'd take a quick minute to share some resources you might find enlightening.  Feel free
to share with your colleagues.

Know Yourself - Change Yourself - Tim Brownson is one of my favorite personal development bloggers.  For a limited time, he's offering a complimentary download of his ebook, "Know Yourself - Change Yourself".  If your serious about changing your life, don't miss this one.

Makeuseof.com - A complimentary subscription to Makeuse of is a must have, if you wanted to find the latest and greatest pre-tested tips and tools for the web, your gadgets, and your software. 

100 Free Places To Learn Online and Counting - If you know where to find it, you can learn just about anything you want for free, right through the web.  Check out this list of resources, courtesy the Mission To Learn blog.

That's it for this time!  Send me your favorite resources and I'll share them!

Lora

February Success Resources

Hello Everyone,

I just thought I'd take a quick minute to share some resources you might find enlightening.  Feel free
to share with your colleagues.

The February issue of the newsletter, Relating@Work is out and can be viewed here

If you'd like to subscribe, the signup page is on the left hand side of my website.

*******************************************************

Personal Branding - If you haven't yet made the time to focus on creating your personal brand, a great place to start is with Steve Pavlina's recent article.  Check it out here

Personal Brand Blog - Dan Schawbel has created an entire blog dedicated to personal branding.   Subscribe to his  RSS feed and keep yourself up to date on what's going on in the world of personal branding.  Check it out here

Effective Internet Presence - Have you Googled your name lately?  If not, do it now and see what you come up with.  Right after that, go download Ted Demopoulos' complimentary ebook about how to create an effective internet presence.  It's right here

That's it for this time!  Post your favorite resources and I'll share them!

January Success Resources

Just a few more resources to add to your toolbox.

The January issue of the newsletter, Relating@Work is out and can be viewed here.
If you'd like to subscribe, the signup page is on the left hand side of my website.

How To Use Google To Get Better Search Results - You'd be surprised to know how many calls I get each week from people who can't find what they're looking for on the internet. While some people think I'm a genius, I always give credit where credit is do.  In my book Google knows everything, but you've
got to know how to search it.  The Googlers have created a guide for you.  Find this little gem right here.

A Big List Of Sites That Teach You How To Do Stuff - One Sunday afternoon I accidently ran a spoon through my garbage disposal. As I sat fretting about what it was going to cost me to get it fixed
the light bulb went off in my head.  Sure enough, Google helped me get the  disposal up and running in a matter of minutes.  The Read Write Web has compiled a huge list of sites that teach you how to do stuff.  Check it out here.

236 Open Courseware Collections, Podcasts and Videos - The Online Education Database has created a treasure chest of complimentary training.  While you don't get credit for taking these classes, you
get to train your brain for free.  Check them out here.

Share your favorite resources with us here!

Promise Yourself

As we approach the close of another year, many of us make time to take stock of our accomplishments and set goals for the new year.  You can find some great resources to help you with that in my blog post 3 Tools For Goal Setting.

Clarifying your goals is great for defining the “what” of your intentions for the upcoming year.  But this year why not add a new dimension to the processHow about defining “who” you want to be?  By that I mean, how you want to show up in this world.

Here’s an example penned by the wise Christian Larson.  It’s called, “I Promise Myself”.

I promise myself…

  • I promise myself to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind   
  • I promise myself to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet   
  • I promise myself to make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them   
  • I promise myself to look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true   
  • I promise myself to think only the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best   
  • I promise myself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own   
  • I promise myself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future   
  • I promise myself to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet   
  • I promise myself to give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others   
  • I promise myself to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble   
  • I promise myself to think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, bun in great deeds   
  • I promise myself to live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me

Promise yourself that you’ll spend some time reflecting on who you want to be in the upcoming year.  Then, make it so.

What will you promise yourself next year?

November Success Resources

I just thought I'd take a quick minute to share a few resources you might find enlightening.  Feel free
to pass them along.

The November issue of the newsletter, Relating@Work is out and can be viewed here.  If you'd like to subscribe, the signup page is on the left hand side of my website.

How To Do Everything Better Online - The fabulous Seth Godin has created a new Squidoo lens based on Mashable's Best Resources Online.  Even if you're unfamiliar with Squidoo or Mashable, you'll want to at least take a peek at this excellent resource.  Find this little treasure right here.

30 Ways To Transform Your Career - The team at the Dumb Little Man blog compiled a great list of career development resources from around the web. Check it out here.

Peter McWilliams Books Now Online - If you were a self help reader in the 90's, chances are that your library included at least one of Peter McWilliams' books.  Well, now they're all online courtesy
of Peter personally.  Check them out here.

That's it for this time!  If you're celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I wish you and your loved ones much happiness!




Turning Good People Into Top Talent

If you’re a leader responsible for developing people in your organization, you should know that Bob Moore is releasing a new book today. 

Turning Good People Into Top Talent:  Key Leadership Strategies for a Winning Company

Bob has condensed his 30+ years of expertise into seven keys for visionary leaders.  Here’s a snippet from the chapter on Coach-Based Management:

“Becoming an effective coach-based manager requires a stretch for many managers and a major shift from the role of an autocratic boss or demanding supervisor.  The organizational culture also needs to move from reward problem-solving behaviors to rewarding problem-prevention.  This means including employees in a more proactive, collaborative approach that considers what could go wrong, how to prevent problems, and developing contingency plans should surprises occur.  Today’s information workers may actually know more about how to do their jobs than their managers do.”

This is what John Stephanek, Manager of Organizational Development had to say:

“Bob has nailed it!  What you need to do to climb the management ladder is blueprinted in these pages.  Master the skills in the chapter on “Coach-Based Management” alone and you will double your value as a leader of people”

What I like best about the book is that each chapter ends with a recap of key points, questions to ponder, action plans, and assignments.

Order the book before midnight, November 1, 2007, and you get 13 additional supplemental resources from experts like Keith Ferrazzi, Michael Angier, Kevin Eikenberry, and yours truly, Lora Adrianse.

Add Turning Good People Into Top Talent:  Key Leadership Strategies for a Winning Company to your leadership library today.

Try Feedforward Instead Of Feedback

Today's post is a strategy developed by one of my all time favorite authors, Marshall Goldsmith.  This feedforward strategy is so powerful that I thought it was important to share Marshall's entire article, rather than just my thoughts about it.  This article, along with a goldmine of others can be found at The Marshall Goldsmith Library.

Without further ado, here's Marshall's article:  Try Feedforward Instead Of Feedback

Providing feedback has long been considered to be an essential skill for leaders.  As they strive to achieve the goals of the organization, employees need to know how they are doing.  They need to know if their performance is in line with what their leaders expect.  They need to learn what they have done well and what they need to change.  Traditionally, this information has been communicated in the form of “downward feedback” from leaders to their employees.  Just as employees need feedback from leaders, leaders can benefit from feedback from their employees. Employees can provide useful input on the effectiveness of procedures and processes and as well as input to managers on their leadership effectiveness.  This “upward feedback” has become increasingly common with the advent of 360° multi-rater assessments.

But there is a fundamental problem with all types of feedback: it focuses on a past, on what has already occurred—not on the infinite variety of opportunities that can happen in the future.  As such, feedback can be limited and static, as opposed to expansive and dynamic.

Over the past several years, I have observed more than ten thousand leaders as they participated in a fascinating experiential exercise.  In the exercise, participants are each asked to play two roles.  In one role, they are asked provide feedforward —that is, to give someone else suggestions for the future and help as much as they can.  In the second role, they are asked to accept feedforward—that is, to listen to the suggestions for the future and learn as much as they can.  The exercise typically lasts for 10-15 minutes, and the average participant has 6-7 dialogue sessions.  In the exercise participants are asked to: 

·    Pick one behavior that they would like to change.  Change in this behavior should make a significant, positive difference in their lives.

·    Describe this behavior to randomly selected fellow participants. This is done in one-on-one dialogues.  It can be done quite simply, such as, “I want to be a better listener.”

·    Ask for feedforward—for two suggestions for the future that might help them achieve a positive change in their selected behavior.  If participants have worked together in the past, they are not allowed to give ANY feedback about the past.  They are only allowed to give ideas for the future.

·    Listen attentively to the suggestions and take notes.  Participants are not allowed to comment on the suggestions in any way.  They are not allowed to critique the suggestions or even to make positive judgmental statements, such as, “That’s a good idea.”

·    Thank the other participants for their suggestions.

·    Ask the other persons what they would like to change.

·    Provide feedforward - two suggestions aimed at helping the other person change.

·    Say, “You are welcome.” when thanked for the suggestions.  The entire process of both giving and receiving feedforward usually takes about two minutes.

·    Find another participant and keep repeating the process until the exercise is stopped.

When the exercise is finished, I ask participants to provide one word that best describes their reaction to this experience.  I ask them to complete the sentence, “This exercise was …”.  The words provided are almost always extremely positive, such as “great”, “energizing”, “useful” or “helpful.”  The most common word mentioned is “fun!”

What is the last word that most of us think about when we receive feedback, coaching and developmental ideas?  Fun!

Eleven Reasons to Try Feedforward

Participants are then asked why this exercise is seen as fun and helpful as opposed to painful, embarrassing or uncomfortable.  Their answers provide a great explanation of why feedforward can often be more useful than feedback as a developmental tool.

1.    We can change the future.  We can’t change the past.  Feedforward helps people envision and focus on a positive future, not a failed past.  Athletes are often trained using feedforward.  Racecar drivers are taught to, “Look at the road ahead, not at the wall.”  Basketball players are taught to envision the ball going in the hoop and to imagine the perfect shot.  By giving people ideas on how they can be even more successful, we can increase their chances of achieving this success in the future.

2.    It can be more productive to help people be “right,” than prove they were “wrong.”  Negative feedback often becomes an exercise in “let me prove you were wrong.”  This tends to produce defensiveness on the part of the receiver and discomfort on the part of the sender.  Even constructively delivered feedback is often seen as negative as it necessarily involves a discussion of mistakes, shortfalls, and problems.  Feedforward, on the other hand, is almost always seen as positive because it focuses on solutions – not problems.

3.    Feedforward is especially suited to successful people. Successful people like getting ideas that are aimed at helping them achieve their goals.  They tend to resist negative judgment.  We all tend to accept feedback that is consistent with the way we see ourselves.  We also tend to reject or deny feedback that is inconsistent with the way we see ourselves.  Successful people tend to have a very positive self-image.  I have observed many successful executives respond to (and even enjoy) feedforward.  I am not sure that these same people would have had such a positive reaction to feedback. 

4.    Feedforward can come from anyone who knows about the task.  It does not require personal experience with the individual.  One very common positive reaction to the previously described exercise is that participants are amazed by how much they can learn from people that they don’t know!  For example, if you want to be a better listener, almost any fellow leader can give you ideas on how you can improve.  They don’t have to know you.  Feedback requires knowing about the person.  Feedforward just requires having good ideas for achieving the task.

5.    People do not take feedforward as personally as feedback. In theory, constructive feedback is supposed to “focus on the performance, not the person”.  In practice, almost all feedback is taken personally (no matter how it is delivered).  Successful people’s sense of identity is highly connected with their work.  The more successful people are, the more this tends to be true.  It is hard to give a dedicated professional feedback that is not taken personally.  Feedforward cannot involve a personal critique, since it is discussing something that has not yet happened!  Positive suggestions tend to be seen as objective advice – personal critiques are often viewed as personal attacks.

6.    Feedback can reinforce personal stereotyping and negative self-fulfilling prophecies.  Feedforward can reinforce the possibility of change.  Feedback can reinforce the feeling of failure.  How many of us have been “helped” by a spouse, significant other or friend, who seems to have a near-photographic memory of our previous “sins” that they share with us in order to point out the history of our shortcomings.  Negative feedback can be used to reinforce the message, “this is just the way you are”.  Feedforward is based on the assumption that the receiver of suggestions can make positive changes in the future.

7.    Face it!  Most of us hate getting negative feedback, and we don’t like to give it. I have reviewed summary 360° feedback reports for over 50 companies.  The items, “provides developmental feedback in a timely manner” and “encourages and accepts constructive criticism” almost always score near the bottom on co-worker satisfaction with leaders.  Traditional training does not seem to make a great deal of difference.  If leaders got better at providing feedback every time the performance appraisal forms were “improved”, most should be perfect by now!  Leaders are not very good at giving or receiving negative feedback.  It is unlikely that this will change in the near future.

8.    Feedforward can cover almost all of the same “material” as feedback. Imagine that you have just made a terrible presentation in front of the executive committee.  Your manager is in the room.  Rather than make you “relive” this humiliating experience, your manager might help you prepare for future presentations by giving you suggestions for the future.  These suggestions can be very specific and still delivered in a positive way.  In this way your manager can “cover the same points” without feeling embarrassed and without making you feel even more humiliated.

9.    Feedforward tends to be much faster and more efficient than feedback. An excellent technique for giving ideas to successful people is to say, “Here are four ideas for the future.  Please accept these in the positive spirit that they are given.  If you can only use two of the ideas, you are still two ahead.  Just ignore what doesn’t make sense for you.”  With this approach almost no time gets wasted on judging the quality of the ideas or “proving that the ideas are wrong”.  This “debate” time is usually negative; it can take up a lot of time, and it is often not very productive.  By eliminating judgment of the ideas, the process becomes much more positive for the sender, as well as the receiver.  Successful people tend to have a high need for self-determination and will tend to accept ideas that they “buy” while rejecting ideas that feel “forced” upon them.

10.    Feedforward can be a useful tool to apply with managers, peers and team members.  Rightly or wrongly, feedback is associated with judgment.  This can lead to very negative – or even career-limiting - unintended consequences when applied to managers or peers.  Feedforward does not imply superiority of judgment.  It is more focused on being a helpful “fellow traveler” than an “expert”.  As such it can be easier to hear from a person who is not in a position of power or authority.  An excellent team building exercise is to have each team member ask, “How can I better help our team in the future?” and listen to feedforward from fellow team members (in one-on-one dialogues.)

11.    People tend to listen more attentively to feedforward than feedback. One participant is the feedforward exercise noted, “I think that I listened more effectively in this exercise than I ever do at work!”  When asked why, he responded, “Normally, when others are speaking, I am so busy composing a reply that will make sure that I sound smart – that I am not fully listening to what the other person is saying.  In feedforward the only reply that I am allowed to make is ‘thank you’.  Since I don’t have to worry about composing a clever reply – I can focus all of my energy on listening to the other person!”

In summary, the intent of this article is not to imply that leaders should never give feedback or that performance appraisals should be abandoned.  The intent is to show how feedforward can often be preferable to feedback in day-to-day interactions.  Aside from its effectiveness and efficiency, feedforward can make life a lot more enjoyable.  When managers are asked, “How did you feel the last time you received feedback?” their most common responses are very negative.  When managers are asked how they felt after receiving feedforward, they reply that feedforward was not only useful, it was also fun!

Quality communication—between and among people at all levels and every department and division—is the glue that holds organizations together.  By using feedforward—and by encouraging others to use it—leaders can dramatically improve the quality of communication in their organizations, ensuring that the right message is conveyed, and that those who receive it are receptive to its content.  The result is a much more dynamic, much more open organization—one whose employees focus on the promise of the future rather than dwelling on the mistakes of the past.

October Success Resources

Just a few resources you may find useful:

Hassleme - Could you use a little nagging to remember those things you procrastinate about?  If so, set up your personalized Hassleme messages, and the reminders will be waiting in your mailbox.  Find this little treasure right here:
Hassleme

Life Optimizer gives you 30 Practical Tips To Make Yourself Indispensable To Others.  If you dig a little deeper into his links you'll discover a wealth of wisdom. Find it here:
30 Practical Tips To Make Yourself Indispensable To Others

The University Of California has published a book to help people resolve deep seated interpersonal conflict.  You can download it right here:
Helping Others Resolve Differences


Know Your Style Under Stress

In 2006, Careerbulder.com reported that 77% of workers feel burnout on the job.  Their study goes on to report that; “Most workers most often blame their colleagues for their office anxiety, with 16% citing difficult co-workers as their primary cause of stress at work.”

To add to that, most of us are shortsighted about how we come across to others in stressful situations.  Sometimes we regret things we say, but more often than not, we simply filter out most of the emotionally charged behavior that we inflict on others. 

And these emotionally charged moments damage careers and destroy relationships with colleagues and customers every day.

In the book, Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When The Stakes Are High, (page 24) the authors describe some of the games we play under stress.  Here’s what they write:

“For instance, sometimes we move to silence.  We play Salute and Stay Mute.  That is, we don’t confront people in positions of authority.  Or at home we may play Freeze Your Lover.  With this tortured technique we give loved ones the cold shoulder in order to get them to treat us better.”

“Sometimes we rely on hints, sarcasm, innuendo, and looks of disgust to make our points.  We play the martyr and then pretend we’re actually trying to help.  Afraid to confront an individual, we blame an entire team for a problem – hoping the message will hit the right target.  Whatever the technique, the overall method is the same.  We go to silence.”

“On other occasions, not knowing how to stay in dialogue, we rely on violence – anything from subtle manipulation to verbal attacks.  We act like we know everything, hoping people will believe our arguments.  We discredit others, hoping people won’t believe their arguments.  And then we use every manner of force to get our way.  We borrow power from the boss; we hit people with biased monologues.  The goal, of course, is always the same – to compel others to our point of view.”

Do any of these games sound familiar to you?  I’ve been guilty of almost all of them.  How about you?

If you think it’s time to learn more about your style under stress, the authors of “Crucial Conversations” (also the brilliant minds behind VitalSmarts), developed a little test for us.  You can find it in the book, pages 56-63, or you can take it online at the VitalSmarts website, here.

Once you know your style under stress, you’ll be more self-aware.  In other words, you’ll be clearer about “how” other people experience your behavior in difficult situations.  And as always, greater self-awareness allows you to make choices that are more conscious.

What would you add to this?

Related Resources:
How To Manage Your Hot Buttons– A three part series I posted at the Success Connections blog – Part 1Part 2Part 3

Communicating Effectively Under Stress – This is a great article with several useful tips, written by Joni Johnston

Communication and Self-Management to Reduce Stress – A thought provoking article loaded with useful strategies, written by Joshua Uebergang

When Stress Strikes – Nice simple coverage of some of the crazy games we play when stress strikes, written by Rick Brenner

Become A Trend Watcher

What do you know about the virtual world of Second Life?  A little?  A lot?  Anything?

I don’t know all that much about it.  What I do know is this:

  • It’s a virtual community with almost 6 million members
  • Companies and universities are using it for virtual training and education
  • IBM is using it in a variety of ways including new employee orientation
  • Most popular business magazines have featured Second Life in at least one story

These are triggers for meThey tell me that something important is going on in Second Life.  While I haven’t yet spent the time to figure it all out, you can be sure that when I hear or read something about Second Life, I pay attention.  And you should too.

This may surprise you, but this article is not about what you know or don’t know about Second Life.  It’s to help you understand the importance of becoming a trend watcher.

Quite honestly, too many people rely on the evening news or the local newspaper for information about what’s going on in the world.  It’s just not enough.  If you didn’t know about Second Life before now, what else could you be missing?

If you plan to be in business (for yourself or within a company) in the next 5 years, you need to know what’s coming.  And most importantly of all, you need to consider how it can impact the future of your work and your life.  It’s time to broaden your scope. 

How do you become a trend watcher?

Make time to read – Set aside a minimum of 2 hours each week to learn about trends, new technology and changes in business.

Mix your media – Subscribe to a mixture of business books, magazines, blogs, online newsletters, and even The Wallstreet Journal.

Digest and dig deeper – After you read an article ask yourself these questions:

  • How could this impact my company, my job, or my life in the future?
  • What are 3 ways I can use this information?
  • What else do I need to know about it?

Take advantage of Web 2.0 – If you’re not yet well acclimated to the power of the internet, the time is now and the cost is mostly free.  Right at the end of your fingertips, you have access to the entire world and a wealth of information.

Let me ask you this…

When your company is ready to explore the possibilities of using Second Life or the next big thing, will you be leading the way or will you be following along?

Here are a few of my favorite resources to get you started.  If you need more, I’m only a phone call or email away.

Trendwatching.com – This is an excellent online newsletter focused on consumer trends, ideas and insights.  It’s a must read.

Fast Company Magazine– Is great for keeping you abreast about what’s going on in the world of business.

Bob Sutton – The Working Life – Bob Sutton’s blog at Harvard Business online.  Bob shares his views and experience on management trends in corporate America.

Tom Peters – The day wouldn’t be complete without a rant from Tom on what’s going wrong and right in the world of business.

Seth Godin’s Blog – Surely, you know Seth.

What tools do you use to keep your finger on the pulse of business?  Post yours here.

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