Success Connections

How I Learned To Be More Objective

It’s funny how we can remember the intricate details of lessons learned years ago, yet we can’t remember where we put the car keys last night. 

It was in the early 80’s and I was sitting on the opposite side of my boss’s desk.  I was getting chewed-out for over-passionately expressing an opinion in a meeting.  While I don’t remember exactly what it was about, I do recall asking, “What do you do to express your opinions?”  “I only have opinions about things that really matter to me,” she answered.

That day I got two lessons in one chew-out session.  Not bad odds.  These were some of the most valuable lessons in my life.

Lesson One – You don’t need to have an opinion about everything. 

Lesson Two – There are acceptable and unacceptable ways to express opinions.

Quite honestly, the harshness of the conversation shut me down for a while.  That turned out to be a good thing.  It bought me the time and space I needed to reflect on how other people perceived me. 

It gave me time to practice listening without forming an opinion.  I stopped offering opinions unless I was asked.  When I did speak up I chose my words carefully.  I neutralized the intensity of the emotion behind my words.  I talked less and listened more.  I learned to ask more questions and give fewer instructions. 

Over time, I realized that changing my habits was changing my life.  When I realized I could stop being the judge and jury for the world, it was like I’d stepped out of a pressure cooker.  I was happier, quicker to laugh, and my relationships with others began to blossom.

Because I was more open-minded I learned more from others.  I discovered lots of options to solving problems and I made better decisions.

Eventually, people started turning to me as a trusted advisor. 

I don’t typically write about myself here, because this blog is not about me, it’s about helping you remove roadblocks to success. 

Perhaps you can relate to this story.  Or perhaps you’ll share it with another person that will.  If so, I’ve made a difference, and that’s what really matters.

Book Review: Leading People The Black Belt Way

Leading People The Black Belt Way

By Timothy H. Warneka
Black Belt Consulting Group

If you’re looking for a goldmine of timeless leadership treasures, you’ll want to add Leading People The Black Belt Way to your collection.  This book is unique because Warneka weaves his vast knowledge of eastern philosophy through the basic principles of emotional intelligence.  It’s thought provoking and loaded with plenty gems of wisdom.  He highlights key points with bolding, for easy reference later.  Each chapter ends with a summary and a learning experiment to help you implement the key concepts.

The book’s content is written around the framework of The Seven Solutions of Black Belt Leadership:
1.    Know the Five Core Problems of Leadership
2.    Understand Leadership as a Relational Process
3.    Seek Harmony in Leadership
4.    Lead People Rather than Pushing or Pulling Them
5.    Cultivate Emotional Engagement
6.    Practice Embodied Leadership
7.    Follow The Black Belt Cycle of Leading People

Don’t worry if you don’t really understand the meaning from this list.  Warneka thoroughly defines “what is meant” at the beginning of each chapter. 

This book is a great investment because it’s jam packed with hidden gems.  It’s so content rich that he could have easily broken it down to several smaller, simpler books.  Warneka clearly put his heart and soul into this piece of work.

I’m an avid business book reader and I have to say that I found it to be on the difficult side to read.  Each chapter is prefaced with an eastern philosophy based story, which I personally found a bit distracting.  If you’re going to read it cover to cover, consider taking it in bite-sized chunks to maximize the benefits.  Read one chapter every 2 – 4 weeks, complete the experiments at the end, and give your self plenty of time to sift, sort, and learn from the material.

If you couldn’t put down Daniel Goleman’s books on emotional intelligence, you’re likely to be thrilled with this book.  On the other hand, if you found Goleman’s books to be great reference material versus engaging and inspirational, you’ll likely feel the same way about this one.

Regardless, it’s a great addition to your business book library.

Leading People The Black Belt Way

Become A Trend Watcher

What do you know about the virtual world of Second Life?  A little?  A lot?  Anything?

I don’t know all that much about it.  What I do know is this:

• It’s a virtual community with almost 6 million members
• Companies and universities are using it for virtual training and education
• IBM is using it in a variety of ways including new employee orientation
• Most popular business magazines have featured Second Life in at least one story

These are triggers for me.  They tell me that something important is going on in Second Life.  While I haven’t yet spent the time to figure it all out, you can be sure that when I hear or read something about Second Life, I pay attention.  And you should too.

This may surprise you, but this article is not about what you know or don’t know about Second Life.  It’s to help you understand the importance of becoming a trend watcher.

Quite honestly, too many people rely on the evening news or the local newspaper for information about what’s going on in the world.  It’s just not enough.  If you didn’t know about Second Life before now, what else could you be missing?

If you plan to be in business (for yourself or within a company) in the next 5 years, you need to know what’s coming.  And most importantly of all, you need to consider how it can impact the future of your work and your life.  It’s time to broaden your scope. 

How do you become a trend watcher?

Make time to read – Set aside a minimum of 2 hours each week to learn about trends, new technology and changes in business.

Mix your media – Subscribe to a mixture of business books, magazines, blogs, online newsletters, and even The Wallstreet Journal.

Digest and dig deeper – After you read an article ask yourself these questions:

• How could this impact my company, my job, or my life in the future?
• What are 3 ways I can use this information?
• What else do I need to know about it?

Take advantage of Web 2.0 – If you’re not yet well acclimated to the power of the internet, the time is now and the cost is mostly free.  Right at the end of your fingertips, you have access to the entire world and a wealth of information.

Let me ask you this…

When your company is ready to explore the possibilities of using Second Life or the next big thing, will you be leading the way or will you be following along?

Here are a few of my favorite resources to get you started.  If you need more, I’m only a phone call or email away.

Trendwatching.com – This is an excellent online newsletter focused on consumer trends, ideas and insights.  It’s a must read.

Fast Company Magazine– Is great for keeping you abreast about what’s going on in the world of business.

Bob Sutton – The Working Life – Bob Sutton’s blog at Harvard Business online.  Bob shares his views and experience on management trends in corporate America.

Tom Peters – The day wouldn’t be complete without a rant from Tom on what’s going wrong and right in the world of business.

Seth Godin’s Blog – Surely, you know Seth.

What tools do you use to keep your finger on the pulse of business?  Post yours here.